Loved reading this, how wonderful that you are reconnected with your home country! Especially for your daughter. Thanks for the reading suggestions too!
I unequivocally agree and as a now immigrant, it feels like it’s always lurking there. It’s like it’s hardened me in some area while softening others? There’s a beauty to finding the common languages we all speak, like reading or evening walks, too. Our humanity is so complicated yet the shared bits are achingly beautiful.
Well, even if you did write it without crying, you made me cry :) I feel very seen and heard in this beautifully written post. My story is very similar to yours. I never intended to stay in Canada, and the first... 10? 15? years were tough. We were able to travel back home every summer, but I would get depressed every time, even before I went there, because I knew I'd have to come back. Then I'd come back and miss home again. And then, I redefined home. I try to think of home as of love in the family - when a new family member arrives, the love grows. The same is with home. We have "double home" of sorts. There are things we love and miss from Lithuania, but we also love and miss some things from Canada. I have also had to change my notion of connectedness - as our three kids have been growing up, we found new ways of feeling connected. They each speak the language to different levels, but they try to learn. We practice customs and MAKE food from Lithuania. Is it what I expected my and my kids' connection to be? No. But, as you say, life happens. These memories Rumi is creating...they're her key moments and will be part of her sense of self forever. She will have her unique sense of "half-Bulgarianess" that she'll have to figure out and practice as she grows and changes :) Raising these "half" kids is not what we prepared for (I think), but it's a fun journey!
Have to know more about what you thought of All Fours. I keep flip flopping about whether or not it's for me. What a beautiful spot, makes me want to be Bulgarian too. I can relate to the first part of this (messy entanglements and all), having almost decided to become an immigrant and then deciding to come home instead. At first, I felt a bit stumped by your question about which book feels like home, but then I looked at my shelf and remembered that when I read Tea Obrecht's Inland I literally went to the library for maps to see if I could figure out how the setting might be located in relation to where I grew up, near the site of the original territorial capital of Arizona.
This choked me up, too. My daughter married a Swedish man, and after living with me for the past two years waiting for a visa decision, she will be leaving in August to finally begin her life fully there. I have so many mixed feelings! I know she is going to feel this divide, and I am going to miss her terribly. I always appreciate reading stories such as these, as they help me understand how things might be for her. Thank you for sharing yours.
Love this for you and your family, Petya. Such special memories. We often went back to the UK during the summers to visit my grandparents. I do miss those times. I hope you all have a wonderful summer!
Oh Petya, I don't know if you managed to write this without crying, but I cried for you. Oh, the joy! How wonderful for Rumi, and your mother, and you! Thank you for the beautiful photos and sharing this with us! Have a wonderful time!
Oh I feel the same about South Africa! 28 years now in the UK 🦁 I’ve started an African reading challenge this year to feel more connected to the continent of my birth
This was so sweet to read Petya - I hope you’re having the most wonderful time. And those photos! Gorgeous!
I’m super intrigued you enjoyed ‘Time Shelter’ so much. I read it last year and found it quite hard to follow at times. I thought the concept was 10/10 brilliant but found I got lost in the writing a bit. It’s the only translated Bulgarian book I have read, so I am eager to read some more from your recommendations!
you hope to write this without crying, pfft, I was reaching for tissues by the end. Excellent piece of writing. I was right there with your family. The love between grandmother and grandchildren transcends language barriers. I LOVE that your daughter is wanting, practically craving, that connection to Bulgaria. I hope you are able to reconnect to your roots to give her that. I am not an immigrant and can't imagine what that feeling is like, the wanting to disassociate from one country in order to blend more with another and then wondering is that "right".
Loved reading this, how wonderful that you are reconnected with your home country! Especially for your daughter. Thanks for the reading suggestions too!
Thank you so much, Jan. Just when we think we have figured things out, life throws us a surprise.
As the daughter of an immigrant, this made me so choked up. Thank you for this candour, Petya. Can't wait to read those books you've recommended.
😭😭😭
Immigrant life is such an enriching experience but it's just... A LOT.
I unequivocally agree and as a now immigrant, it feels like it’s always lurking there. It’s like it’s hardened me in some area while softening others? There’s a beauty to finding the common languages we all speak, like reading or evening walks, too. Our humanity is so complicated yet the shared bits are achingly beautiful.
Well, even if you did write it without crying, you made me cry :) I feel very seen and heard in this beautifully written post. My story is very similar to yours. I never intended to stay in Canada, and the first... 10? 15? years were tough. We were able to travel back home every summer, but I would get depressed every time, even before I went there, because I knew I'd have to come back. Then I'd come back and miss home again. And then, I redefined home. I try to think of home as of love in the family - when a new family member arrives, the love grows. The same is with home. We have "double home" of sorts. There are things we love and miss from Lithuania, but we also love and miss some things from Canada. I have also had to change my notion of connectedness - as our three kids have been growing up, we found new ways of feeling connected. They each speak the language to different levels, but they try to learn. We practice customs and MAKE food from Lithuania. Is it what I expected my and my kids' connection to be? No. But, as you say, life happens. These memories Rumi is creating...they're her key moments and will be part of her sense of self forever. She will have her unique sense of "half-Bulgarianess" that she'll have to figure out and practice as she grows and changes :) Raising these "half" kids is not what we prepared for (I think), but it's a fun journey!
I'm checking out those books too!
Such beautiful memories you’re making.✨
And also, cannot wait to read All Fours!!
Have to know more about what you thought of All Fours. I keep flip flopping about whether or not it's for me. What a beautiful spot, makes me want to be Bulgarian too. I can relate to the first part of this (messy entanglements and all), having almost decided to become an immigrant and then deciding to come home instead. At first, I felt a bit stumped by your question about which book feels like home, but then I looked at my shelf and remembered that when I read Tea Obrecht's Inland I literally went to the library for maps to see if I could figure out how the setting might be located in relation to where I grew up, near the site of the original territorial capital of Arizona.
This choked me up, too. My daughter married a Swedish man, and after living with me for the past two years waiting for a visa decision, she will be leaving in August to finally begin her life fully there. I have so many mixed feelings! I know she is going to feel this divide, and I am going to miss her terribly. I always appreciate reading stories such as these, as they help me understand how things might be for her. Thank you for sharing yours.
Love this for you and your family, Petya. Such special memories. We often went back to the UK during the summers to visit my grandparents. I do miss those times. I hope you all have a wonderful summer!
Oh my heart. The family resemblance is strong. Adore this. 💗
Oh Petya, I don't know if you managed to write this without crying, but I cried for you. Oh, the joy! How wonderful for Rumi, and your mother, and you! Thank you for the beautiful photos and sharing this with us! Have a wonderful time!
Oh I feel the same about South Africa! 28 years now in the UK 🦁 I’ve started an African reading challenge this year to feel more connected to the continent of my birth
This was so sweet to read Petya - I hope you’re having the most wonderful time. And those photos! Gorgeous!
I’m super intrigued you enjoyed ‘Time Shelter’ so much. I read it last year and found it quite hard to follow at times. I thought the concept was 10/10 brilliant but found I got lost in the writing a bit. It’s the only translated Bulgarian book I have read, so I am eager to read some more from your recommendations!
you hope to write this without crying, pfft, I was reaching for tissues by the end. Excellent piece of writing. I was right there with your family. The love between grandmother and grandchildren transcends language barriers. I LOVE that your daughter is wanting, practically craving, that connection to Bulgaria. I hope you are able to reconnect to your roots to give her that. I am not an immigrant and can't imagine what that feeling is like, the wanting to disassociate from one country in order to blend more with another and then wondering is that "right".
What a sweet moment for your daughter and mother, that made me smile!
🥹🥹🥹 Love you and this. That’s all.
Beautifulpiece. As the father of two lovely half Vietnamese children, it really hits home.