Oooooooooh, my friend. I felt each word of this so deeply. I want to tell you how much I see you as a reader and a thinker and how much I admire the work you do (the glimpses you share on Substack, as well as all that obvious depth and joy and curiosity that takes place everywhere else for you).
I resonate so much with the bookstore fatigue. For years, I felt like I couldn’t be a “real” bookstagrammer or that I shouldn’t write about books publicly because I don’t follow new releases and I don’t fetishize “the backlist.” It’s been the biggest joy to find that other people share these anxieties—and write anyway. Read anyway. Show up to look for & create community anyway.
Cheers to your beautiful reading life. I love your words! 🥂
I agree with you Haley. Petya writes about many of the deep feelings I have about reading. I love her vulnerability in that regard.
I love walking through bookstores but I rarely buy things there anymore. I have so many unread books on my shelves, I love using the local library, and if I do buy something for myself it is usually from a used website like biblio or thriftbooks.
Thank you for this note, Haley. You have had such a profound impact on how I read, so seeing this means so much to me.
Sometimes I feel that writing ABOUT reading as opposed to actually writing about the books I am reading is a little... I don't know... navel-gazey. But I share these thoughts because they affect my reading choices... and I just suspect that others might feel similarly perplexed or overwhelmed.
This is so well said I found myself audibly agreeing to parts as I nodded along! I have sooooo many thoughts and anxieties about exactly these issues, especially since my bookish presence online started on Bookstagram about 6 years ago. I’ve had a front row seat to watching the platform shift from photos and community to hyper curated capitalist clickbait. I’d be lying if I said this didn’t come with an existential crisis—how can I fit in on a platform that I no longer recognize, that brought me a true community and friends that have become dear to me IRL, but that has also in many ways become unrecognizable? And also the “what ifs” of wondering if I played by their (new) rules, could I then continue to “succeed” (ie, make money)? All this has led to an embarrassing amount of overthinking and inaction that has left me feeling absolutely drained by the end of the year. Luckily though, it inspired me to think clearly about what I *actually* want and crave from my reading life and I feel that sense of giddiness and excitement I haven’t had for a while.
Oh Alex, I know. Social Media is a total mindfuck if you let it. I used to write a literary blog ~2007-2013 and loved working on it so much. Then everybody started monetizing everything and I could not figure out a way how to do that in a way that I didn't feel gross about myself and stopped writing. BIG MISTAKE. I let go of one of the biggest joys of my life at the time. I am so glad I stumbled upon Substack but I really am doing what I was already doing so many years ago.
That's why I write these reading life essays - to remind MYSELF why I read and stay focused on what matters to me.
Petya, thanks for sharing your reading life vulnerably, as always.
I am right there with you. I try not to buy brand-new books if I can avoid it. Usually, if I purchase a book, it comes from a used source. I enjoy that more than a new book because it makes me wonder about the adventure the book has been on.
In response to your question, the main thing about my reading life is reading what I want. I don't go for trends, and I am rarely seen with something brand new in my hands. I build my reading around themes or topics with occasional fictional spontaneity. I have been lucky to find a following here, but it wasn't because I was trying. I tried to be genuine, and it resonated. We will see if they all stick around or not, but in any case, I will still be reading and writing.
p.s. We should seek a chance for coffee when this weather warms up.
"Because it makes me wonder about the adventure the book has been on..." What an amazing way of looking at used books! I love that sentiment. I also love second hand books and get particularly excited when I come across an old inscription or notes in the margins.
I ordered a used book the other day, and when it arrived, it had an old bookmark in it with a note from one person to another. Another one had an ancient airplane boarding pass stuck between the pages. Some of them have previous owner's names inscribed. It is such a wonderful thing to imagine where the book has been and who has treasured the story before me.
One time Rumi found a letter from one professor to another, on department letterhead... in one of my husband's old books. She played "SPY" with it for a whole afternoon.... who is Gail?! who is Steve?!
I love that! I've had train tickets and shopping lists…and even a baby photo the other month! Luckily, that one was a library book, so I handed it back in for the librarian to trace the last borrower 😄
I think it's so obvious that your newsletter comes from an authentic place of what YOU truly feel drawn to and passionate about. Reading is so personal and of course you will find readers who share your exact taste in books but I think many people follow you because they appreciate how you approach your reading and that's something we all can learn from and apply to our own lives.
Yes to coffee! It doesn't look like it will be this week though. 🥶
I think something specific to my reading style is I do love a rabbit hole— following a topic or theme for three books or five motivates my reading and increases my interest in it, because I can feel myself developing a point of view on some aspect of life vs when I just read spontaneously. Now that I started sharing this oddity with the world in my newsletter, I do sometimes struggle with this thing you named: am I doing it because This Is Me now, or am I performing it for my audience? So another thing that is maybe not unique but feels very me is to enjoy cheating on my little lists, sneaking in other books with a vow to never kiss and tell about it on the internet.
This is why I cannot write about Biography of X. But I think I need to talk to you about that book!
I love a good rabbit hole!!! That's what I am trying to do too with my reading projects - make it mean something that goes beyond a single work... (without diminishing the specificity of the single work).
Cheating on the list is the best. THE BEST. It honestly feels the same as sneaking around when I was in high school. LOL
You know that Biography of X is one of my most favorite books of all time, right?!
I really love that book. I will be reading all the rest of her books this year. And then maybe I will break my vow to have read it only for the love of it, and write about Biography of X in the newsletter. In the meantime if you ever want to gab about it…
I have the same plan! It's my first book of hers that I read and am now OBSESSED. Let's chat about this! Also, she is from Tupelo, MS which is down the road from us. I keep fantasizing about running into her at a coffee shop or at the airport. 😂
Ooof! I love this, Petya, as always(have I mentioned I'm your no 1 fan?!) You have literally picked a thought right out of my head today! I was just contemplating how lovely it has been to really sink into a book I've been wanting to read for several months (after initially panicking I was still reading the same book I started on 1st January, and how that might *look* as someone who writes a newsletter about books...) I had to catch myself and remember it's OK to slow down and that I'm trying to really appreciate the depth of a book, not "accomplish" something. Perfectionism is a hard habit to break. I love your diagram showing your reading intentions ❤️
OMG. Perfectionism... it's the worst. And I used to be fake self-deprecating about it .. like, oh, I know I know.. .I am such a perfectionist. And really thought I just cared more about quality than others. But now I know that perfectionism is fear and insecurity... so when I find myself obsessing, I know it's time to pause and really think about why I am doing what I am doing.
Re: still reading the same book and writing about it.... sometimes I look at the amount of writing that BookStackers churn out... and of course, all the time that has gone into writing and analyzing the books we write about... it's honestly incredible that we do this at all, given how for so many of us this is just a fun thing we do at night.
Love this post! Thank you. So much truth and richness in it. Brilliant observation about what Brandon said on sweater weather—how it applies not only to writing but to living. It is so bizarre that people literally walk through life not looking at it but staring at a little screen. They are fully captured and monetized by big tech—I find it heartbreaking.
At any rate, that is not our fate (as Dylan says). Onward and upward—I too am diving into Anna Karenina.
It is heartbreaking. I have WANTED to quit Facebook and Instagram for a while now but I am so afraid of losing connection with people there.... only to realize that's not real connection and a lot of it is straight-up unhealthy and sociopathic parasocial relationships .... it's messed up!
I feel that reading an endless old book about love, status and relationship is exactly what the doctor ordered for us!
Loved that Brandon Taylor essay! It’s most of the reason why I had such a hard time with contemporary fiction for a while. The descriptions and lack of dialogue were mind numbing. My fav quote from his essay that resonated: Why are you describing your narrator’s face muscles more than you are attending to the innermost matter of their soul? Like I said. Weirdo behavior.
😂
Reading this made me feel comforted that I never got into Bookstagram or Booktok and focused on book newsletters instead. You write so thoughtfully about the books you read and I love the nuances you include when you don’t like/love a book. Humans are so complicated and fascinating, I love/need that complexity in the book reviews I read. Perfect example, you working out the reason why you’ve been fascinated with 19th Century wives under pressure/restless wives. So stoked to follow along on that journey here with you 😍😍😍 Through your shared discoveries, we discover things about ourselves and on and on. I find it to be such a beautiful symbiotic relationship.
And God, those PR frenzy campaigns can get to me too! Making a pact with you that we don’t fall under the spell unless it’s exceptional! 💗
I will say this... as someone who is working on a book and just experiencing ALL of the emotions that go with that... I feel so self-conscious writing about books, especially the ones that I don't get... like, bitch, please. Write your own book and then pan someone else's. 😂😂😂
😭😂 I feel you. I’ve included a book I was looking forward to but was wildly disappointed after reading in my next newsletter. But the author is very wealthy with allll the access and resources so there was no excuse for what she published (imo).
Sometimes I feel like I read just to get through the book and get to the next one. So this year I am looking to re-read some of my favorite books that I’ve read over the past few years. First up - Leonardo da Vinci by Walter Isaacson.
I feel so much insecurity about not being well read that I don't reread, ever. I feel like I should be reading NEW books. But learning to annotate books earlier last year and building a practice around that really made me feel that it's the second read that matters so much more... I am so excited for you and I hope to do some rereading of my own this year too!!!
I feel this deeeeeply. I started this year by rereading a book I felt inexplicably pulled to and the experience was unparalleled — I got even more from it than my first time reading it. I started reading Swann’s Way immediately after, something I’ve wanted to do for a while but always felt intimidated by, and it’s forced me to throw out my lofty quantitative reading goals and slow my reading pace to a crawl.
Something amazing happened when I forced myself to stop consuming and moving forward in that way. I lingered with the prose longer, was able to see Proust’s humor, and felt connected to the book in ways I never did before. So I fully agree with your sentiments here and think examining and recalibrating one’s reading habits (because that’s consumption too, after all) is so important. I’m so glad you’ve been able to do the same and learn new things about yourself! That’s what reading is all about. Thank you for reminding me of this! x
How beautiful. I am so glad for you. I think that many of us imagine our ideal reading experience as a slow one... calming, nurturing... But the late capitalist way of life has its grip on every aspect of our lives experiences and pushes us to do more, faster, better... It's so unsustainable. I am so glad you are finding ways too to slow things down. It's the only way to sanity I think.
I love every single comment here! It’s so life-affirming to be among the kindred souls of bibliophiles. Petya, you’ve cultivated a wonderful community and I feel lucky to have found you.
I love the graphic, although I would say my version looks more like a column than a pyramid, lol.
I did the very remarkable thing(for me) of reading virtually all the fiction books I owned, and then gave away most of it. I was motivated by moving - farmhouse to country house, to another state, to a retirement house. The biggest factor was less boxes to move; my long-suffering partner was amazingly patient with me, even after his back surgery.
Because I am a compulsive librarian, all those books were catalogued. So the useful habit I gained was to read and make some kind of note, and always answer the question: Does this go on the shelf (Will I read it again?) or does it get donated? And then I do it. I learned that it bothers me not one whit that most of my catalogued books are only on my virtual shelves.
Still working on the ability to prune the non-fiction shelves, although my partner actively encourages the rather large cookbook shelf.
Man, I feel where you are coming from. I am 71 and just retired last year after teaching school for 40 years. I now have time to read and I'm overwhelmed. I have tons of books at home and have joined 3 book clubs. So I'm reading the Iliad, Shakespeare, and just plain older ones that I haven't read for ages or never have read. But I see all the recommendations on Substacks and I want to read more. I do read my home library when I ride my stationary bike, I read from my phone, and I read from my computer. I have also read serial stories on Substacks.
Wow, I think about this all the time and I kind of feel plagued by it in almost everything. The feast of abundance in so many things (what to watch on which streaming service, what perfect thing to buy, what recipe to have the best meal ever!) is so intertwined with consumption and optimisation for me. I've been trying to organise my thoughts around the reality of when we feel scarcity in things -- like I don't have that much time to read and I don't want to read underwhelming things, so I've got to read something great -- and then realising that life in all its itty-bitty things that make up the whole picture doesn't need to constantly be something that will qualify in the power rankings of excellent things I've experienced. Strangely, I've been finding that I'm enjoying reading so much more when there's a happenstance to it or it's intuitive or it's for eudaimonia. I went through a phase in 2018 and 2019 when I was trying to read specific titles to be able to talk to them with people and in a post-social media life, I think that I wasn't investing in my own taste, I was just investing in the performance of what I thought good taste looked like.
All of this to say, I wonder if the commodification of our private lives and our taste as part of that is actually warping our taste? Wherein, how can we have our own taste if we're both thinking about how it will look digitally, dealing with the abundance of choices, and also trying to constantly optimise every single choice. I really want to organise my thoughts better so I can write about this because it also feels tied up in the hyperfixation on individuality while also reinforcing that there's a certain type of taste that makes you interesting and aspirational. As ever, so many thoughts!
Lastly, unrelated, we've just booked to go to Bulgaria in June! I'm excited to reread your writing about visiting in 2024.
Yesss!! I want to start a substack about the books I read this year for this exact reason. I want to think about them beyond the "this one has been making the rounds on TikTok and Goodreads". Thanks for putting these thoughts of mine (and yours) into such clear words.
I hope you do it and please let me know when you do. I think the book community on Substack is superb and you will find your people, whatever your specific reading taste is.
Oooooooooh, my friend. I felt each word of this so deeply. I want to tell you how much I see you as a reader and a thinker and how much I admire the work you do (the glimpses you share on Substack, as well as all that obvious depth and joy and curiosity that takes place everywhere else for you).
I resonate so much with the bookstore fatigue. For years, I felt like I couldn’t be a “real” bookstagrammer or that I shouldn’t write about books publicly because I don’t follow new releases and I don’t fetishize “the backlist.” It’s been the biggest joy to find that other people share these anxieties—and write anyway. Read anyway. Show up to look for & create community anyway.
Cheers to your beautiful reading life. I love your words! 🥂
I agree with you Haley. Petya writes about many of the deep feelings I have about reading. I love her vulnerability in that regard.
I love walking through bookstores but I rarely buy things there anymore. I have so many unread books on my shelves, I love using the local library, and if I do buy something for myself it is usually from a used website like biblio or thriftbooks.
How come I'd never heard of Biblio until now?!
I started buying from ThriftBooks recently and feel so good about that.
Thank you for this note, Haley. You have had such a profound impact on how I read, so seeing this means so much to me.
Sometimes I feel that writing ABOUT reading as opposed to actually writing about the books I am reading is a little... I don't know... navel-gazey. But I share these thoughts because they affect my reading choices... and I just suspect that others might feel similarly perplexed or overwhelmed.
Read anyway.
This is so well said I found myself audibly agreeing to parts as I nodded along! I have sooooo many thoughts and anxieties about exactly these issues, especially since my bookish presence online started on Bookstagram about 6 years ago. I’ve had a front row seat to watching the platform shift from photos and community to hyper curated capitalist clickbait. I’d be lying if I said this didn’t come with an existential crisis—how can I fit in on a platform that I no longer recognize, that brought me a true community and friends that have become dear to me IRL, but that has also in many ways become unrecognizable? And also the “what ifs” of wondering if I played by their (new) rules, could I then continue to “succeed” (ie, make money)? All this has led to an embarrassing amount of overthinking and inaction that has left me feeling absolutely drained by the end of the year. Luckily though, it inspired me to think clearly about what I *actually* want and crave from my reading life and I feel that sense of giddiness and excitement I haven’t had for a while.
Oh Alex, I know. Social Media is a total mindfuck if you let it. I used to write a literary blog ~2007-2013 and loved working on it so much. Then everybody started monetizing everything and I could not figure out a way how to do that in a way that I didn't feel gross about myself and stopped writing. BIG MISTAKE. I let go of one of the biggest joys of my life at the time. I am so glad I stumbled upon Substack but I really am doing what I was already doing so many years ago.
That's why I write these reading life essays - to remind MYSELF why I read and stay focused on what matters to me.
Petya, thanks for sharing your reading life vulnerably, as always.
I am right there with you. I try not to buy brand-new books if I can avoid it. Usually, if I purchase a book, it comes from a used source. I enjoy that more than a new book because it makes me wonder about the adventure the book has been on.
In response to your question, the main thing about my reading life is reading what I want. I don't go for trends, and I am rarely seen with something brand new in my hands. I build my reading around themes or topics with occasional fictional spontaneity. I have been lucky to find a following here, but it wasn't because I was trying. I tried to be genuine, and it resonated. We will see if they all stick around or not, but in any case, I will still be reading and writing.
p.s. We should seek a chance for coffee when this weather warms up.
"Because it makes me wonder about the adventure the book has been on..." What an amazing way of looking at used books! I love that sentiment. I also love second hand books and get particularly excited when I come across an old inscription or notes in the margins.
Me too!!! Rumi and I just got a book that had the original library card in it. So fun!!!
Those are the best!
Wow!! 😮
I ordered a used book the other day, and when it arrived, it had an old bookmark in it with a note from one person to another. Another one had an ancient airplane boarding pass stuck between the pages. Some of them have previous owner's names inscribed. It is such a wonderful thing to imagine where the book has been and who has treasured the story before me.
One time Rumi found a letter from one professor to another, on department letterhead... in one of my husband's old books. She played "SPY" with it for a whole afternoon.... who is Gail?! who is Steve?!
I love that! I've had train tickets and shopping lists…and even a baby photo the other month! Luckily, that one was a library book, so I handed it back in for the librarian to trace the last borrower 😄
I think it's so obvious that your newsletter comes from an authentic place of what YOU truly feel drawn to and passionate about. Reading is so personal and of course you will find readers who share your exact taste in books but I think many people follow you because they appreciate how you approach your reading and that's something we all can learn from and apply to our own lives.
Yes to coffee! It doesn't look like it will be this week though. 🥶
I think something specific to my reading style is I do love a rabbit hole— following a topic or theme for three books or five motivates my reading and increases my interest in it, because I can feel myself developing a point of view on some aspect of life vs when I just read spontaneously. Now that I started sharing this oddity with the world in my newsletter, I do sometimes struggle with this thing you named: am I doing it because This Is Me now, or am I performing it for my audience? So another thing that is maybe not unique but feels very me is to enjoy cheating on my little lists, sneaking in other books with a vow to never kiss and tell about it on the internet.
This is why I cannot write about Biography of X. But I think I need to talk to you about that book!
I love a good rabbit hole!!! That's what I am trying to do too with my reading projects - make it mean something that goes beyond a single work... (without diminishing the specificity of the single work).
Cheating on the list is the best. THE BEST. It honestly feels the same as sneaking around when I was in high school. LOL
You know that Biography of X is one of my most favorite books of all time, right?!
I really love that book. I will be reading all the rest of her books this year. And then maybe I will break my vow to have read it only for the love of it, and write about Biography of X in the newsletter. In the meantime if you ever want to gab about it…
I have the same plan! It's my first book of hers that I read and am now OBSESSED. Let's chat about this! Also, she is from Tupelo, MS which is down the road from us. I keep fantasizing about running into her at a coffee shop or at the airport. 😂
You have no chill. JK 😂
Yes to all of this.
Ooof! I love this, Petya, as always(have I mentioned I'm your no 1 fan?!) You have literally picked a thought right out of my head today! I was just contemplating how lovely it has been to really sink into a book I've been wanting to read for several months (after initially panicking I was still reading the same book I started on 1st January, and how that might *look* as someone who writes a newsletter about books...) I had to catch myself and remember it's OK to slow down and that I'm trying to really appreciate the depth of a book, not "accomplish" something. Perfectionism is a hard habit to break. I love your diagram showing your reading intentions ❤️
OMG. Perfectionism... it's the worst. And I used to be fake self-deprecating about it .. like, oh, I know I know.. .I am such a perfectionist. And really thought I just cared more about quality than others. But now I know that perfectionism is fear and insecurity... so when I find myself obsessing, I know it's time to pause and really think about why I am doing what I am doing.
Re: still reading the same book and writing about it.... sometimes I look at the amount of writing that BookStackers churn out... and of course, all the time that has gone into writing and analyzing the books we write about... it's honestly incredible that we do this at all, given how for so many of us this is just a fun thing we do at night.
I loved footnote #3. LOL. Painful. I DNFd Yellowface and HAVE PREORDERED Katabasis. What is wrong with me?!!
Your note made me laugh out loud. Same.
Why are we like this?!
Love this post! Thank you. So much truth and richness in it. Brilliant observation about what Brandon said on sweater weather—how it applies not only to writing but to living. It is so bizarre that people literally walk through life not looking at it but staring at a little screen. They are fully captured and monetized by big tech—I find it heartbreaking.
At any rate, that is not our fate (as Dylan says). Onward and upward—I too am diving into Anna Karenina.
It is heartbreaking. I have WANTED to quit Facebook and Instagram for a while now but I am so afraid of losing connection with people there.... only to realize that's not real connection and a lot of it is straight-up unhealthy and sociopathic parasocial relationships .... it's messed up!
I feel that reading an endless old book about love, status and relationship is exactly what the doctor ordered for us!
Loved that Brandon Taylor essay! It’s most of the reason why I had such a hard time with contemporary fiction for a while. The descriptions and lack of dialogue were mind numbing. My fav quote from his essay that resonated: Why are you describing your narrator’s face muscles more than you are attending to the innermost matter of their soul? Like I said. Weirdo behavior.
😂
Reading this made me feel comforted that I never got into Bookstagram or Booktok and focused on book newsletters instead. You write so thoughtfully about the books you read and I love the nuances you include when you don’t like/love a book. Humans are so complicated and fascinating, I love/need that complexity in the book reviews I read. Perfect example, you working out the reason why you’ve been fascinated with 19th Century wives under pressure/restless wives. So stoked to follow along on that journey here with you 😍😍😍 Through your shared discoveries, we discover things about ourselves and on and on. I find it to be such a beautiful symbiotic relationship.
And God, those PR frenzy campaigns can get to me too! Making a pact with you that we don’t fall under the spell unless it’s exceptional! 💗
I will say this... as someone who is working on a book and just experiencing ALL of the emotions that go with that... I feel so self-conscious writing about books, especially the ones that I don't get... like, bitch, please. Write your own book and then pan someone else's. 😂😂😂
😭😂 I feel you. I’ve included a book I was looking forward to but was wildly disappointed after reading in my next newsletter. But the author is very wealthy with allll the access and resources so there was no excuse for what she published (imo).
Sometimes I feel like I read just to get through the book and get to the next one. So this year I am looking to re-read some of my favorite books that I’ve read over the past few years. First up - Leonardo da Vinci by Walter Isaacson.
I feel so much insecurity about not being well read that I don't reread, ever. I feel like I should be reading NEW books. But learning to annotate books earlier last year and building a practice around that really made me feel that it's the second read that matters so much more... I am so excited for you and I hope to do some rereading of my own this year too!!!
I feel this deeeeeply. I started this year by rereading a book I felt inexplicably pulled to and the experience was unparalleled — I got even more from it than my first time reading it. I started reading Swann’s Way immediately after, something I’ve wanted to do for a while but always felt intimidated by, and it’s forced me to throw out my lofty quantitative reading goals and slow my reading pace to a crawl.
Something amazing happened when I forced myself to stop consuming and moving forward in that way. I lingered with the prose longer, was able to see Proust’s humor, and felt connected to the book in ways I never did before. So I fully agree with your sentiments here and think examining and recalibrating one’s reading habits (because that’s consumption too, after all) is so important. I’m so glad you’ve been able to do the same and learn new things about yourself! That’s what reading is all about. Thank you for reminding me of this! x
How beautiful. I am so glad for you. I think that many of us imagine our ideal reading experience as a slow one... calming, nurturing... But the late capitalist way of life has its grip on every aspect of our lives experiences and pushes us to do more, faster, better... It's so unsustainable. I am so glad you are finding ways too to slow things down. It's the only way to sanity I think.
I love every single comment here! It’s so life-affirming to be among the kindred souls of bibliophiles. Petya, you’ve cultivated a wonderful community and I feel lucky to have found you.
I felt the same way reading through the comments. I feel such relief to be among so many kind and thoughtful readers.
I love the graphic, although I would say my version looks more like a column than a pyramid, lol.
I did the very remarkable thing(for me) of reading virtually all the fiction books I owned, and then gave away most of it. I was motivated by moving - farmhouse to country house, to another state, to a retirement house. The biggest factor was less boxes to move; my long-suffering partner was amazingly patient with me, even after his back surgery.
Because I am a compulsive librarian, all those books were catalogued. So the useful habit I gained was to read and make some kind of note, and always answer the question: Does this go on the shelf (Will I read it again?) or does it get donated? And then I do it. I learned that it bothers me not one whit that most of my catalogued books are only on my virtual shelves.
Still working on the ability to prune the non-fiction shelves, although my partner actively encourages the rather large cookbook shelf.
Man, I feel where you are coming from. I am 71 and just retired last year after teaching school for 40 years. I now have time to read and I'm overwhelmed. I have tons of books at home and have joined 3 book clubs. So I'm reading the Iliad, Shakespeare, and just plain older ones that I haven't read for ages or never have read. But I see all the recommendations on Substacks and I want to read more. I do read my home library when I ride my stationary bike, I read from my phone, and I read from my computer. I have also read serial stories on Substacks.
Yes, yes, yes! More happily missing out on things in favor of your own tastes in 2025 👏
Wow, I think about this all the time and I kind of feel plagued by it in almost everything. The feast of abundance in so many things (what to watch on which streaming service, what perfect thing to buy, what recipe to have the best meal ever!) is so intertwined with consumption and optimisation for me. I've been trying to organise my thoughts around the reality of when we feel scarcity in things -- like I don't have that much time to read and I don't want to read underwhelming things, so I've got to read something great -- and then realising that life in all its itty-bitty things that make up the whole picture doesn't need to constantly be something that will qualify in the power rankings of excellent things I've experienced. Strangely, I've been finding that I'm enjoying reading so much more when there's a happenstance to it or it's intuitive or it's for eudaimonia. I went through a phase in 2018 and 2019 when I was trying to read specific titles to be able to talk to them with people and in a post-social media life, I think that I wasn't investing in my own taste, I was just investing in the performance of what I thought good taste looked like.
All of this to say, I wonder if the commodification of our private lives and our taste as part of that is actually warping our taste? Wherein, how can we have our own taste if we're both thinking about how it will look digitally, dealing with the abundance of choices, and also trying to constantly optimise every single choice. I really want to organise my thoughts better so I can write about this because it also feels tied up in the hyperfixation on individuality while also reinforcing that there's a certain type of taste that makes you interesting and aspirational. As ever, so many thoughts!
Lastly, unrelated, we've just booked to go to Bulgaria in June! I'm excited to reread your writing about visiting in 2024.
Yesss!! I want to start a substack about the books I read this year for this exact reason. I want to think about them beyond the "this one has been making the rounds on TikTok and Goodreads". Thanks for putting these thoughts of mine (and yours) into such clear words.
I hope you do it and please let me know when you do. I think the book community on Substack is superb and you will find your people, whatever your specific reading taste is.