Issue 85: Everything I read in September

Feeling my feelings

There's a poem attributed to Matt Haig that recently circulated on social media:

How to stop time: kiss.
How to travel in time: read.
How to escape time: music.
How to feel time: write.
How to release time: breathe.

It may seem a touch sentimental, but this past month, my reading life embodied all of these elements. I felt intensely, and it was profoundly satisfying.

For context: the Bulgarian landscape of my childhood was dominated by my mother's towering presence. Her intentions were pure, her methods less so. My sister and I were raised to be strong, brave, and stoic. Complaining was considered a weakness, asking for help discouraged. Negative emotions were, essentially, forbidden.

One memory stands out: I am eight, hosting a playdate. My mother catches me looking bored, pulls me aside, and hisses, You're going to go out there and have fun, or else! The unfinished threat lingers, its meaning unmistakable. High school felt so hard because I thought I had to stifle all those feelings - the …