Issue 109: The Reading Life of... Petya K. Grady
Introducing myself the only way I know how
Today I turn 44. 🎂🥳
I wanted to celebrate with you in a meaningful way while introducing myself to some of our new friends around here. So, I am doing it the only way I know how — by talking about how I became the specific reader I am today.
Before I dive in, I would like to acknowledge how difficult it is to manage one’s attention these days and that I am profoundly grateful that so many of you choose to spend some of your time with me. I am hopeful that together we can continue to create intentional spaces that push us to read, write, think and feel deeply.
Tell me a little bit about yourself. Are books and reading part of your professional life?
I am originally from Bulgaria but have lived in the United States since 1999. Like many of my generation, I came to the United States to study Political Science. I assumed I would learn about democracy and then eventually become a diplomat. Instead, I went to graduate school for political theory with the intention of being a college professor. That experience was so traumatic that I was unable to read for years after dropping out.
After leaving academia, I built a fulfilling career as a UX strategist. While I enjoy the creative challenge of running a UX team, what I value most is that my job doesn’t take everything out of me—leaving me time to read and write.
On an average week, how much do you read and when?
I read best during regular weeks—when routines hold. I usually finish a book, start another, and have an audiobook running, averaging about 1.5 books per week.
My ideal reading time is mornings, after my people leave for school. Some days I read in bed with my coffee and this is honestly my most favorite way to read. It feels both decadent and rebellious to slow down and be with my books while knowing the rest of the world is firing up their mobile devices. Other days, I multitask with audiobooks while doing housework. I also read every night before bed, but I find that if I haven’t read earlier in the day, the anticipation of reading almost kills me.1
Inspired by Lauren Elkin, I practice interstitial reading—always having a book (physical, audio, or digital) on hand. I read during my lunch break, while walking my dog, while sitting in the carpool line waiting for my kid to come out of school or during her gymnastics practice. Sometimes a work call ends early and someone will inevitably say they gave us 10 minutes of our lives back. We all chuckle because it’s such a cliche thing to say but I love those ten minutes and more often than not use that time to read.
There is research to support the value of reading this way. Happiness researchers have studied why we feel so time poor these days and feel like we have no time to do the things we love. The research showed that we actually have a lot of time but contemporary life has chopped up our days into 5 or 10 minute “time confetti,” little chunks of free time here and there. Because the time confetti don’t feel significant, we waste them by scrolling. Once we become aware of our time confetti, however, we can identify go-to activities and use up those times doing something more interesting, nourishing or mindful. My go-to time confetti activity is reading.
What do you like to read? Has your taste changed over the years?
I grew up in a house of readers, one of my earliest childhood memories being my dad reading Grimm's Fairy Tales to us before bed. Our tiny apartment was lined with books, setting an expectation in my young mind that reading and being alive are interconnected.
Yet despite this foundation, my school years in Bulgaria were governed by academically rigorous required reading that generated little joy. College brought more balance through my liberal arts education, exposing me to fiction and creative non-fiction alongside academic texts.2 Graduate school marked a reading desert. I read for work but not for pleasure. The shame was overwhelming—I even consulted a therapist about my imposter syndrome. Her solution? A printed list of "100 Books To Read Before You Die." It didn't help.
My Reading Reset came at 26 with Curtis Sittenfeld's PREP, launching a decade of uninterrupted reading. I gravitated toward literary fiction with a focus on immigrant narratives—Dinaw Mengestu, Aleksandar Hemon, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Taiye Selasi—authors who helped me process my own immigrant experience during an intense period of self-discovery. I also call this period my Obama List Era … no shade (or shame), just very specific.
Then in 2017 I became a mom and motherhood disrupted everything. Despite my profound love for my baby, I completely lost my sense of self—including my love of reading. Looking back, I recognize this as symptomatic of undiagnosed postpartum depression. Now when I encounter reading slumps, I perform a wellness self-check first. Mental health struggles often manifest as reading resistance; addressing them usually restores my natural desire to read.
Currently, I'm drawn to what I call think-y women literary fiction —introspective narratives, complex character studies, and low-plot explorations of the human condition, particularly the tension between social expectations and personal desires. I've developed an appreciation for formally innovative works and have recently returned to theory and criticism.
I share this whole journey to illustrate that reading life is seasonal. If you're struggling to read now, know that you will most likely read again. If you're drawn to a particular genre, embrace it without guilt—your tastes will evolve eventually. As we grow, we change. Genre or any other literary fixations are wonderful but temporary. I read with an open heart, trusting that the right books will find me at the right time.
What's a reading habit you've developed that's unique to you?
When I interviewed about her reading life, I thanked her for acknowledging that reading is a whole other thing when parenting and caretaking are thrown into the mix. It always feels odd to complain about your own children but to paraphrase the great — reading is all about concentration, solitude, and silence, and those are the three things that children are most not about. But my husband and I are both readers and have worked hard to cultivate a culture of reading that works for our family.
Since Rumi was four months old, we’ve never skipped bedtime reading (maybe three times, ever). Now that she reads independently, we started a Family Book Club: she reads her book while we read ours, snuggled together. It’s my favorite tradition—modeled on the idea that books are an essential part of life, not just homework.
Do you take notes while you read? If yes, are you particular about your materials - notebooks, pens, highlighters vs. pencils, etc?
There are two kinds of people: those who love note-taking and those who don’t. I joke, but I kind of mean it. Loving note-taking feels almost like a genetic condition to me. As long as I can remember, I’ve been obsessed with notebooks, handwriting, and organizing my thoughts on paper.
I’ve already shared in-depth notes on my annotation process and my commonplace journaling practice, but in short, here’s how I engage with books:
Underline and annotate as I read—if a book is heavily marked up, I know I’m loving it.
Free-write in my book journal when I want to go deeper, exploring themes and personal connections. I typically do this for one or two books a month.
Copy favorite quotes into my commonplace book, not for analysis, but to preserve what resonates with me.
From my UX background, I know that beautiful materials can stifle creativity—who hasn’t hesitated before writing in a gorgeous new notebook? In design thinking workshops, we encourage people to jot ideas on simple sticky notes with thick markers because it removes the fear of "messing up." I try to apply the same principle to my reading notes: simple, unpretentious materials that invite engagement rather than perfectionism. All that being said, I go into a stationary shop and lose my f-cking mind. I would spend all my money on pens and notebooks if I could. 💸💸💸
Where do you get ideas about what to read?
Mostly Substack these days. I feel awkward listing individual newsletters, but knowing how amazing it is to find someone sharing your exact sensibility, I'll share my favorites book-stackers:
I also find ’s film writing extremely literary, and always makes me want to read more theory.
Finally, my most favorite thing recently has been my Friday Book Chat where I invite our community to share the last book they read, the book they are reading right now and the one they plan to pick up next. I got great recommendations on how to approach reading Gary Indiana from and a super cool idea from to consider reading plays when you want to read classics but maybe have some commitment issues. If you are in need of some reading material, seriously, join us every Friday. I guarantee you will leave with a LIST.
When people ask me how come I read as much as I do, I frequently just give them a list of things that I don’t do as regularly as I probably should: exercise, clean house, spend time with friends. What do you choose NOT to do in favor of reading?
❌ Exercise (working on it).
❌ Housework (not sorry).
Growing up in Eastern Europe under communism, a lot of energy was spent on keeping appearances—a spotless home mattered. Letting go of that ingrained belief has been freeing. I’d much rather my daughter remember me as a mother who read, as opposed to a mother who vacuumed.
Do you have any tips or advice for people who wish they were reading more?
I have three tips:
1| Trust what you are drawn to. Don’t let pressure guide your sense of what you should or should not be reading, do not over-curate your taste. If you are reading things that you enjoy (even if you can’t fully articulate why), you will want to read more. When in a slump, reread your favorites.
2| Find a way to ritualize aspects of your reading — start new books on a Saturday, at a coffee shop when you have time to really get in deep; create a commonplace journal to collect your favorite quotes; dress up to go to the library; put together a wishlist and go on an adventure hunt at a used bookstore. I think these behavioral things just replace the pressure or anxiety around setting out to read with excitement.
3| Put your phone down.
But above all—feel no shame for taking your own mind seriously.
Some questions for you:
Which of my tips and ideas resonate the most with you?
How does the seasonality of my reading life match up against yours?
How do you trick your brain to read what you are genuinely interested in without falling victim to book-community pressure?
Some people feel this way about exercising. I am not one of those people.
I went to Sewanee which is the home of The Sewanee Review, the oldest continuously published literary journal in America. I am borderline religious about reading the magazine which has supported all your favorite literary authors including early works by Flannery O’Connor, Sylvia Plath and many others.
Happy Birthday Petya! Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself with us. I enjoyed reading this so much, and i’m thinking it would be a good exercise for readers to ask themselves these questions and see what they find about their reading inclinations and habits that maybe they haven’t written down or said out loud. Beautiful writing as always. Here’s to many more years do reading! 📚
I'm new here. Thank you for sharing your reading journey. It's inspired me to consider my own. And document it. Reading may be the great love of my life. Have you posted about books you've have re-read? What is your most re-read book? How many times? What other books do you go back to again and again? Also, my favorite part about the first photo is the vacuum cleaner sitting idle by your pup. And happy birthday.